Everything happened just like this.

Everything happened just like this.
I closed my eyes and I was revived.
I was dead, I became alive!

My heart pounded like the waves of an ocean.
And I sensed every pulse and beats of it in my veins.
I behold myself vibrating in the pattern of my own heart.
Not that I was far away somewhere watching it.
It was as if I was it.
I was resonating with myself.

My body got lighter with every breath I took.
And there was a calmness and a gentle breeze over me.
I was not quite sure of what was happening
but I knew that my life had never been so alive as was then.
I was neither happy nor sad.
I was neither pained nor fine.
I was not feeling the way I used to feel.
It was totally a different experience.
I became aware that I had never discerned life swinging to its fullest.

I convinced myself that I was in a certain kind of delusion.
Because it was not the same realm I used to be on.
And if I had stayed a little more
there probably would have been no coming back.
It felt like this.

I wanted to stay but I was not yet prepared to lose myself.
I became afraid of the light! I sipped the tea,
but the taste got me heavenly engrossed.
I sat on the same bench, but there were no thoughts.
I became an empty sky with no floating clouds.

I was simply reflecting myself.
People came to talk and I had tears.
I walked but I was already where I needed to be-
to the very center of myself!

For the first time everything perfectly made sense
and I felt the strong connection that I was part of the universe.
It thus felt weird!
“Either it should be a hypnotic state or I must be dreaming.
I can never be such high.” I assured myself.
Because it was the spring of my life.
It was a grace, the whole benediction was on me.
It felt like the whole universe was blessing me.
I felt taken care of by the existence.

The solitude was no more a loneliness
and I needed no more friends than the company of myself.
It was too much blissfulness that I could not help but resist.

When love is not appreciated it fleets away.
When love knocks on the very door of our life,
we don’t let it go away rather accept it with our whole heart.

But we have our own ways.
We realize only when it is already late.
And that we pang in the midst of our own dark corner
where we are wrapped up in our own thoughts lamenting on
how we reached the peaks and how it was like out there
when love and us had melted together.

We shout out,
we outcry but there would no longer be
anyone to listen to our longing and stupid tales.
Nothing in life is ever gonna fill us the same way we were nourished.
And in remembrance of our love
whenever we witness beauty we bow down
with reverence in our hearts and tears in our eyes.
We will be reborn. We will have a totally different perspective and insight.
We will have one desire and we will agonize for it
and every other thing does not make sense or mean anything to us.

It tears us apart but we know that the risk is worth taking.
It suffocates and calls for liberation and we will be helpless.
We will be in a quest for the meaning in our lives.
The void in us hints us that we were something of the magnificent.
Our being wails up and constantly wanders
in hope of meeting with the beloved.
And in that aspiration,
it hopes to get emancipated and feel alive once again.

2017